Highs & Lows

If you’re a friend of mine on Facebook, you might have noticed that Teo didn’t go to sleep till just after 5:00 AM. Yup! He didn’t sleep a wink all through the night. Which means that I’ve been up since 4:30 AM – YESTERDAY. Many of you have sent words of encouragement. Earlier this week, when Teo had been partying from 3AM, some moms sent tips to me. I appreciate all the support- especially since this summer has had some highs and some major lows and well, has just been impossibly busy.

This summer I wrote my first grant application – that was absolutely insane, a huge time suck, and even as I tried to learn as I worked through the nights, I knew I had less than a 5 percent chance of getting it. I went ahead though, because it was a learning experience and hey, a girl has to try. Next, my Papa (grandfather) died. I swear, he was always such a strong presence in my life, especially when I was a kid. Years and years ago,the doctors gave him a year to live and somehow he managed to beat cancer. I figured if anyone could beat death, he would. ( yes I know this is irrational). 

Then, my family came to visit. Some for the funeral and finally, Teo’s Dad to see He-Who-Refuses-To-Sleep. It was great to see everyone.  I’m especially grateful to my cousin Dennis for pushing for all of us to go to Papa’s Caye together. And Teo? Well, he went from meeting cousins he had never met before to spending some quality time with his dad. I guess for him, it was like going to Disney. He got ice cream and pizza and trips to the pool and Kukumba Beach. So, lots of high moments.

But of course, things can’t always be like a vacation. I knew all the changes would affect him. I even warned Jen, Teo’s Shadow. We expected it. Still, though, it doesn’t make the no sleep, constant demands, and short temper any easier to deal with as we try and try to get him back into a routine.

While my personal life seems like a roller coaster, Autism Belize is racing ahead like one of those super trains in Japan. This summer alone we’ve had 8 Parent and Teacher Trainings and workshops – some with as many as 60+ participants. We’ve got several donations for our Gift of Communication Initiative. Actually we will be giving out quite a few more by the time school starts again. We got invited to sit on the National Committee for Families and Children and are now looking at how we can help make some of their work even more inclusive. We’ve had numerous meetings with some foundations working to help us with future projects that I am not ready to talk about yet since I don’t want to jinx it. 

Moreover, we got a major donation from Axiory that will go toward purchasing the communication apps, but also, that let us develop the ParaProfessional Certification Course material and train our new Autism Belize Facilitators. These facilitators are from all over Belize so it will be easier to offer this course countrywide. We start with our first group of 40 hopeful Paraprofessionals, Special Needs Parents, Teachers and even some students, in Belize City tomorrow, Saturday, August 7. As if that isn’t enough, we even have several more 3-hr workshops planned for this month and next with schools and with some government departments.

Honestly, every week has been so busy- so many meetings and phone calls. While you might not be seeing the fruits of all this yet, I assure you, I’m working really hard. What we’re trying to build is happening slowly, I know, but it’s happening. The thing is, I kinda feel like I’m drowning. Most days I add way more to my To Do List than I cross off. I’m responding a little slower to emails than I’d like. I’ve forgotten things and made some missteps. I haven’t responded to some messages. I swear my friends might write me off for good since I barely return their calls. Crap, I barely have time to see them. Even the blogs are getting posted late and I even missed one week- the first, I believe since I started.

Sigh. And that’s because,  I still need to find a job- you know one that actually gives you a paycheck. 

So after a night like last night, after an insane summer, I need to take a moment and breathe. (and drink my doctored coffee) Autism Belize has been growing so, SO much faster than I ever expected.This is a good thing. No. This is a GREAT thing. I still need to remind myself, however, that we’re still basically operating with my personal cell and my little laptop-from my dining room table (well, my bed right now). We have some great parents who help where they can. These parents, though, are special needs moms and dads too with jobs and very little time themselves. 

We’re all volunteers. I’m just a mom. As determined as I am to get s&*t done, I’m really gonna have to figure out how to pace myself. I’ve never been good at sprints anyway. As my friend, Martine, and my sister always remind me, I really gotta remember to take some time for Teo and me to just relax- and hopefully, sleep. Hope you guys keep bearing with me as I struggle my way through….