A Harsh Reminder of Why We Do What We Do

Thursday I felt like reality walked up and slapped me in the face. Coming off the high of a successful April and feeling proud of all that our little organization has accomplished in just one year, I was faced with a seemingly trivial incident that clearly highlighted that all we have done was really just like one craboo inna d barrel. We have a lot more craboo fu pick before we fill that bucket!

Trying To Be A Mom While Doing Autism Belize Work

On Thursday, I was running around doing Autism Belize errands. I ran into City Council to quickly fill out a form. As I exited, to my dismay, I saw a traffic officer writing me a ticket. Now, let me be clear, I was not parked illegally. I went over and asked, politely, why she was giving me the ticket because I wasn’t parked on a red and there weren’t any No Parking signs. She first ignored me but then stated that I wasn’t illegally parked. Hmmm…

Seizing a Teachable Moment

After asking several times to please explain, she finally said that my car is running. Ok. (I’m confused now) I show her that my son, his shadow and our puppy is in the car. I can’t take him out into buildings because he’s special needs and won’t respect social distancing. Also, while he is better with wearing a mask, he doesn’t always keep it on. Actually, I don’t think I even got that far in my explanation when she interrupted and informed me she was writing the ticket. She said she will explain to me when she’s done.

When she finally finished, I once again tried to explain about my son – he can’t handle too much heat (you all KNOW how hot it has been) and that could lead to a meltdown. I also wasn’t going to leave my windows done on Albert Street when he wasn’t wearing a mask. (COVID and dust, seriously). Once again, she would not listen and cut me off. Handed me my ticket told me to pay or go to court and walked away.

If This Is Really Illegal, What Do I Do?

Now, I don’t even know if leaving my car running- with people in it, is illegal, but even if it is, what am I do? Mateo LOVES car rides. But since COVID, I don’t take him in stores or buildings. He was asthmatic as a child and so in my brain, he’s high risk. Therefore, when I go to the grocery store, Teo waits in the car- with his shadow. I go to the Ice Cream Shoppe and Teo waits in the car. It’s not ideal, but it is what it is. If we park somewhere where it’s safe and there’s a breeze, sure I’ll take my car off. I hate wasting gas when gas costs more than gold. But really, what am I to do? What are other parents to do, especially during COVID?

Glaring Example Of The Road Ahead

Now this might all seem trivial. But think about this. If Mateo escapes our yard (which he has done on more than one occasion) and the Police sees a young man running down the high way barefoot and wearing no mask. They go to stop him and he flaps. He makes some weird-to-them sounds. How do they react? What if they ask his name and he doesn’t answer? What if he runs away from them? What if they grab him and Mateo freaks out? If the Police Officer is as unaware and seemingly inflexible as this traffic officer was, that situation – a very likely scenario- could escalate to scary proportions rather quickly.

Now if it’s a Police Officer that’s willing to stop, think, and access the situation – recognize the signs that this young man might be special needs, things would probably happen a lot differently. But which type of officer would we get?

Real Fears

One of our founding members of Autism Belize is a lady I respect a lot. She has a 25 year-old-autistic son. At the very FIRST parent support group meeting we had a year ago she shared one of her biggest fears is that her son will be shot by the Police. Why? Well, he likes to run around their yard at night. He’ll jump around and laugh and and sometimes try to climb the fence. But what if a Police drives by and sees a man climbing a fence? They might think he’s trying to rob the house. They might call out. Well her son is non-verbal and while he is 25, he is still very much a child. He probably won’t stop when they speak to him. What then?

Such fears and a multitude of others. keep us special needs parents up at night. We talk a lot about what we need to do for education and to train teachers. Honestly, though, training and sensitization MUST continue year round and it MUST happen at all government departments and businesses and most importantly our schools who represents our next generation. People need to be aware of those that are different and be able to stop, think and try to react appropriately.

This is one of the very BIG reasons why the Belize Disabled People’s Forum has been trying to reach out to the Police Department for months – to offer to do a sensitization training as well as to help draft a training module and standard operating procedures as it relates to people with disabilities.

Equality vs Equity

Sometimes, we must make accommodations- not just in a classroom, but in society. We absolutely should have handicap ramps and preferential seating for the elderly and persons with disabilities. But we also need to think about accommodations for special needs persons too.

If it really is illegal for me to leave my car running- with people in it when I go to run an errand, then maybe I should get some sort of handicap sticker for my car? I mean I can’t Mateo isn’t eligible- but should I be able to get one? I have a sticker on my car identifying that there is an autistic child inside – but if I get an officer who won’t stop and listen and assess, then I need something more or I’ll quickly be sent to prison for the amount of traffic violations I will be racking up.

What’s the other alternative? I never take Mateo for car rides and keep him locked away? That’s exactly what we do NOT want. We should never have to keep our special needs kid locked away as if they don’t belong in society at all.

A Possible, Practical, Necessary First Step?

And do you know there is no government ID card for people with disabilities? When I go to the airport here in Belize and take Mateo to the handicap line, I get stopped. Officials will tell me we don’t belong there. Now, I speak up and explain (I take advantage of every teachable moment I get) but not all parents are vocal and comfortable speaking up. An official and recognized ID card would be great- for all persons with disabilities.

The Belize Assembly for Persons with Diverse Abilities issues a card, but unless there is a full sensitization campaign and acceptance from government then who knows who might accept the card or not. This is just one of the many reasons why the Belize Disabled People’s Forum is pursuing the Ministry of Health for a meeting. A countrywide ID card for persons for disabilities needs to be done as a partnership. And well, it just needs to be done.

The Struggle Continues

This interaction seems so trivial and this is honestly not about paying the $25.00 ticket.I was saddened and upset because it was such a glaring example that we have so much more work to do. April exceeded our expectations in raising awareness – but that we are cognizant that this is just the tip of the iceberg.

We must persist though. We have no choice but to keep pushing. We must Teach Autism (and about all other diverse abilities). We must Promote Awareness. We must Show Acceptance. We must Provide Support. We must not lose sight of our goal. We need a Belize that is educated and accepting of differences because only then can we become a stronger, kinder, and transformed Belize.