The Grinch
So if you know me outside of this blog, you’ll know I’m somewhat of a Grinch. I go through the motions. I set up the tree. I bake the cookies and decorate. I even play the music. Honestly, though, I’m not cheery and I don’t get into the holiday spirit at all. This all started the Christmas Mateo was 15 months old.
British Virgin Islands (BVI) to Toronto, Canada
When Mateo was just shy of 15 months, we were living in the British Virgin Islands and life was hectic but pretty great. We had a great group of friends, good jobs, and we’d go out on catamarans regularly. Mateo was a chubby little water baby and he loved going out. We could take him just about everywhere. Then early that December, he got his first ear infection and became a fussy little dude. We got him on meds though, and he got the all clear from the pediatrician just before we flew to Canada for Christmas.
We were all excited to go to Canada to see Teo’s Uncles and Grandparents and spend time with his Godparents. It would be nice to be around family and I knew Mateo would be getting spoiled. Only, things didn’t go as planned.
Regression. Who knew?
My little party baby was cranky and very antisocial. Being a first time mom, I figured, he’s a true Caribbean baby and hates the cold as much as I do. When he wouldn’t easily go to others, I made excuses that he just didn’t know them yet. Even though I knew when we were in BVI, Teo would go to just about ANYONE. He also didn’t sleep well at all (maybe new surroundings) Most noticeable of all, though, he wasn’t talking!
By this time, Mateo had several words. He could say mama and dada. He called our dog ‘CAT” which confused people until we told them the dog’s name was Cognac. (You get it?) He played peekaboo and with toys. And, and… well, he did lots of things that kinda disappeared that Christmas. I made excuses after excuses, but honestly, he changed so much, I couldn’t help but worry.
That Christmas he also didn’t react to presents. He didn’t show any interest in Santa. Everyone, of course, went so far above and beyond to make Mateo’s Christmas in Canada memorable. And it was just not in the way we all hoped. It was memorable because it was the first time I worried that something was going on with my child.
Knowing is half the battle!
Less than six months later, I learned about Regression. Regression is estimated to occur in children on the spectrum between 15 months and 30 months and this occurs somewhere between 20-40 percent of cases. Quite simply, this means children lose skills – language skills, social skills, developmental markers.
Autism Christmas Past
So since then, my Christmases are different. I don’t have a child who reacts in any way to Santa. He doesn’t – can’t – write letters to Santa. Doesn’t get excited at presents or try to ‘sneak a peek’. Hell, he never really plays with toys, so even if you gave him a toy, you wouldn’t even get a reaction. For many, many years, I wasn’t sure he understood at all what Christmas meant.
Never giving up
I tried, though. I’d spend hours researching new and different toys to see if they would grab his attention. We tried taking the toys out of the boxes and assembling to see if THEN he would react. Spoiler alert- he didn’t. We would drive him all over just in case he would look at the lights- even if for a minute or two. (It was more like he looked for a couple seconds.) I’d sing and dance to Christmas music to see if maybe he’d smile and maybe, just maybe he’d dance along. Yeah, nope.
I started putting up my Christmas tree earlier and earlier each year in the hopes that maybe THIS year, he’d react. Maybe this year, he’d smile and show some excitement. I put on Christmas movies and have them play in the background hoping he’d just look out of the corner of his eye.
We would actually take him to toy stores hoping he’d run around and pick something – anything. He’d run in the store. He’d laugh as we chased him. The one thing he never did was reach out and take a toy.
I wanna see Christmas through your eyes
“I wanna see Christmas through your eyes” by Gloria Estefan was one of my favorite Christmas songs. I always figured once I had kids they’d help keep the joy of Christmas alive. But if you don’t know if your child can even see the joy or understand the miracle of Christmas, how do you keep that Christmas spirit?
That’s my kinda sad tale of Christmas Past. My tale of Christmas Present is a little brighter though. Please stick around and I’ll post that story in the next couple days…
