I have a bit of an obsessive personality. When I put my mind on something, I’ll push – I’ll push hard to get it done and get it done well – sometimes to the point where I ignore everything else. When we first got Mateo’s diagnosis, this kicked into overdrive. I read everything I could get my hands on. I attended every parent training offered. I focused on helping Mateo. Over the years, I had periods of time where I got lazy or burnt out but then I’d refocus again and go back to pushing/helping Teo. One thing that I feel guilty about is that with all this, sometimes I lost track of Mateo. I would get so focused on trying to teach him and help him that I would forget he is so much more than his diagnosis.
Home with Family…
Over this past year of being home, not only have I adjusted to being around family and having friends and people to help, but also, I’ve gotten to really learn more about my son too. I’ve learnt things about him that have nothing to do with autism. I’ve learned he really is a social creature. He loves spending time with others – even if he can’t/doesn’t know how to engage. He just likes being around people.
Quite a Personality…
Moreover, he takes in so much. For example, his cousins could be playing a game or teasing each other and Mateo is sitting at the periphery with his iPad. To a casual observer, you might think he’s in his own world. But then one of the kids will crack a joke or tease the other and you’ll see Mateo giggle and watch them on the sly. Or, he’ll wait for just the right moment in a video game or movie to go jump on them or distract them somehow. Then he will giggle with this mischievous look on his face.
He also really likes music. These days he’s not only listening to the Wiggles or songs from different cartoons, but he’ll also find music videos on YouTube to play in repeat. Not to mention, he actually watched and enjoyed Mamma Mia and Mamma Mia Here We Go Again – the first two movies he’s EVER watched. He was so fascinated with the singing and dancing. He laughed at appropriate times and would get excited at the performances.
He also loves speed and action. Put him on a fast boat, the rougher the waves, the better, and it’s like my kid is at DisneyLand. Or get on the coastal road with all the ups and down and twists and turns and Teo is beaming. I think the only thing that would make him happier is if his friends and cousins are in the car with him and he knows this road trip is gonna be a weekend thing.
It’s About Focus…
Now, it’s not like I haven’t noticed these things before about him. I knew he loved Soca music and car rides, but I think the difference is before I would be focused on how to use his likes and dislikes. I’d obsessively monitor what he’s doing to make sure he wasn’t going to hurt himself or have sensory overload. I’d be checking to make sure we stick to schedule and afraid to take too many chances for fear about how he’d react. I’d be taking note of what he was doing/eating/watching to see what effects it would have on behaviors/diets/schools. If he liked something, I’d start wondering how we can use that as a reinforcer at school or for therapy.
These days I’m still on alert, but I’m also just enjoying Mateo too. I like seeing his personality shine as he laughs with others. I love that he knows what he wants and enjoys life. I love that he has friends in his cousins and a shadow that thinks of him as her little brother. He really makes the best of every situation.
New Feature Series…
So much of our days now are more about him than autism. I’m really enjoying getting to know this dude with the deep man voice who laughs so much, who is still obsessive about water but is also open to trying so many new things. I’m enjoying this so much that I’m encouraging special needs parents to share more abut their kids – who they really are besides their diagnosis. So in the next couple weeks, look out for images like this one below and get to know our kiddos. They are pretty cool kiddos – even if I say so myself.
If you would like to have us feature your special kiddo in this More Than series, please contact us for more information.
