Boy how times have changed! Lots are happening in the country that I can’t help thinking about my reaction and life now compared to my initial reaction during the first major shut-down. To be brutally honest, I had a kind of panic attack when they first announced our full shutdown.
A Different Type of Worry…
Surprisingly, my break down didn’t have to do so much with worry over COVID-19, but more about how Mateo and I were gonna handle being on our own. First of all, this was going to be a huge change in Mateo’s routine and he NEEDS routine. He actually loves going to school too. He doesn’t quite know how to interact with the other kids. He doesn’t know how to play appropriately. BUT he does love just being around them and observing from a distance. Losing that and changing his routine, well I had no idea how he would react, but I was so worried.
Okay, So Maybe A Little Selfish…
Then there was how would I cope? Not to be selfish, but in the short time of being home, I’ve come to depend on the help from my family. My mom and sister alternated feeding me on Sundays. They know how much attention Teo demands. Furthermore, it’s really just me because Mateo 9 times out of 10 won’t eat what everyone else is eating, it’s not worth trying to cook. I am grateful every Sunday for that meal.
More importantly, while Mateo is at school, that’s when I get my errands done. It’s when I can grocery shop. It’s when I can clean up or get work done. It’s when I can shower. Seriously. Leaving Mateo alone for a couple minutes could lead to him trying to escape, flooding out the house, climbing on the second story balcony railing, breaking his iPad! The list of potential issues keeps growing. There’s honestly no way to fully Mateo proof my house.
Mental Health…
Then there’s my mental sanity. Mateo has issues sleeping – or NOT sleeping as is the case. This week alone he was going to bed closer to 11pm and waking between 2-3am. This was not even a bad week! Having to constantly be ‘on’ watching him, trying to keep the patience of Job and stay smiling when you barely have time to shower and doing all this on 3-4 hours a sleep at night? Yeah, I’m not super superhuman.
I have my limits. My voice gets louder. My patience weighs. I’m grumpy. I’m tired. At least when I have help or when Mateo goes to school, I can have a little break. Maybe, if the stars align and I pray hard enough I can even take a nap. But with a complete lock down, that wouldn’t be an option.
Back To My Panic Attack…
All this led to my panic attack. Thank goodness I was able to reach out to the CEO of Human Development, Ms. Judith Alpuche, and she told me right away that Mateo’s Shadow can be considered a Home Health Provider and that if she’s willing, she can stay with us. (Mateo’s Shadow is wonderful young woman who initially didn’t know anything about Autism. With the help of Horizon Academy, we trained her. I now pay her basically to be just that- his Shadow. She goes to school with him, works one-on-one with him and plays with him. She is basically a support teacher, friend and coach all in one).
Well Jen, his Shadow, did move in. It was the three of us together during COVID. We had movie evenings, dance parties at 2am and trampoline jumping competitions. We worked together to try to ease Mateo through the change of schedule and all the issues that arose being away from school. It worked out so well, that if we do go into another shutdown (which seems imminent), I’m not worried about how Mateo and I will cope.
Respite Care…
Thinking about this makes me wonder how other special needs families are coping? The single moms or dads who have children who demand even more of the ‘typical’ attention, who have to go to work and who don’t have a “Jen” to help. How are they coping? How will they cope again? Not even just the day to day stuff like trying to see if they can grab a shower or go buy groceries, but also how are they coping mentally. These are hard times for all us, but with the added burden of being a carer to others- special needs children/teens/adults – adds so much more on an already full plate.
Many countries offer some form of respite service for carers and families of special needs persons. Respite care is usually a short break of some kind given to parents/caregivers of those with special needs. These caregivers/parents can drop off children/teens/adults with special needs at respite care where others will watch, interact, play games and do activities with them. This gives the caregiver/parent a chance to relax, run errands, take a mental break – whatever. During COVID, in many countries, respite workers visited the homes of these special needs families to help. Strangers volunteered over Twitter to go grocery shopping for these families. Some volunteers took special needs teens for walks in the park just to try to help these families out. I was amazed to follow the #SENDTwitter Community (Special Education Needs or Disability). So many people posted a need and so many responded. It was so heart warming.
#HorizonCaresALot …
As we head into a situation that’s getting scarier and scarier every day, I see people posting about fatigue and mental health and about stress levels. I totally get it. It’s a hard time for ALL of us as Belizeans and for the world. I am just asking that if you know of someone who is struggling or a family who is taking care of someone – whether child or adult with special needs or mental health issues, please check in on them. We can manage to get through this together. We just need to be smart. We need to follow the rules. And please, let’s look out for our neighbors and others.
Horizon Academy is promoting #HorizonCaresALot. Let’s follow what we are teaching our kids.
“Unless Someone Like You cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get Better. It’s Not.” ~Dr. Seuss
