I don’t like talking about religion and spirituality. It’s personal. I feel people should try to be good and do good. Simple as that. With that said, however, I was raised in Belize. I was raised Catholic. And not just go to church on Sunday kind of Catholic, but the help decorate church Catholic; Mom singing in Choir and having prayer meetings at our house Catholic. The kind of Catholic where when I went to confess and I knelt behind the screen to list my 50 million sins, I stopped to take a breath and Father Wright ( he was a Father then) said, “go ahead, Christy”. Cause yup! They all knew me. Honestly, many Mercy nuns had a hand in helping to raise me. (Somehow I don’t think this is something they would brag about today).
Seriously, though, I don’t really talk about religion or my beliefs because I have a complicated relationship with God that, yes, in many ways, is linked to Autism. Please don’t go post in the comments that it’s a blessing from God or God doesn’t give you more than you can handle or that Mateo is a child of God or that God knew what he was doing etc, etc. I appreciate the support and yes, my son IS a blessing and he’s loved. But on days when I watch him struggle, when he’s acting out because he can’t tell me he doesn’t feel good or that his ear hurts or that he has a headache, on difficult days like that, I can’t find comfort in those words. My son is non-verbal and severely autistic. He still struggles to get dressed. He works ten, sometimes 100 times as hard to learn something basic that a neurotypical 5-year-old might learn in minutes. He has done more therapy hours in his short lifetime than a high school graduate has spent in school and yet we are still working on colors and shapes. He has so many sensory issues that he struggles to chew and swallow certain textures. He doesn’t feel his body like we do. Sounds can be overwhelming and sight? Well, I don’t know, because can’t tell me how his sight is affected. Yet every day he gets up with a smile on his face and has to try to work with a world that barely understands him. He is wonderful, my son. And many days I’m in awe of what he does or how he lives his life. So yes, I have a rocky relationship with God.
Now I didn’t start this post to be all sad and depressing. Yesterday being Palm Sunday and watching how the various churches in Belize have adapted to give wonderful sermons online, even during a time like this, well, it got me thinking. I baptized my son at birth. He has the most AMAZING godparents that any child can ask for. But now, my son is 12 and he hasn’t received his First Communion nor has he been Confirmed. I don’t know if any of you parents with children on the spectrum or with other mental or developmental disabilities have tried to get your children the Sacraments of Initiation beyond Baptism. Was your child able to do this with your school even if he or she could not do the traditional Sacramental preparations?
Since moving back home, I’ve taken Mateo to a couple church services. It’s a challenge – making sure I have help, timing it right (has he burned enough energy that he can sit calmly for at least 20-30 mins but that he’s not OVERtired either), making sure we go when it’s not too crowded and won’t be too loud (he’s not a fan of Soprano singers). Will we be able to get a pew to ourselves so when he starts wiggling or wants to hug and squeeze whoever is next to him- that we don’t offend anyone? There’s a lot that goes into preparation for just trying to go to mass. The times we have gone, the community has been welcoming and understanding about his outbursts or his sprinting to the front of the alter. I’m so thankful for that. I’ve heard all sorts of stories in my travels from parents who have not had the best experience or found it so so difficult that a family who went to church regularly may have stopped going.
Recognizing these difficulties, are there any parents out there who still would want their children (who were baptized already) to receive First Communion and Confirmation? Don’t think that just because your child cannot do the traditional classes he or she can’t receive these sacraments. In fact, Pope Francis is a huge supporter of children/adolescents/and adults on the autism spectrum and with other disabilities. He has called for great acceptance and inclusion. Special Catechisms for Special Kids, Teaching autistic children about God by Caroline Weerstra is a helpful tool. (If you would like to know more about this book, send me a direct message) Also, there is a whole cartoon series on Youtube, Brother Francis online, that is great for ALL types of kids to help teach them. Finally, you can follow the AutisticPriest on Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter for more support and information.
Yes, my son struggles and outings are hard, but there is also so much he CAN do. There is so much ALL our children CAN do. So especially during the month of April, World Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month, let’s continue to educate everyone about the realities and intricacies of Autism, always highlighting ABILITIES of our special children. We need to ensure that they have as many opportunities for development- whether physical, educational, emotional spiritual.
#DifferentNotLess #AdvocateEducateLoveAccept #EmbraceDifferences #Autism:ADifferentAbility #KindnessCountsBze
