Mateo turned 13 this week. I think I’m still in shock. I mean, I knew it was coming. He’s now taller than me. His voice has deepened. He’s right smack in the middle of puberty. But even knowing that, I can’t still keep but wonder what happened to my chubby little chunky monkey?
Mateo had an amazing birthday. So many friends, family, and even new parents whom I’ve met through this blog and Autism Belize sent well wishes. Mateo got to spend the long weekend going to the caye and on the water. His cousins were especially attentive to him, driving him around (I found out later they went driving around looking for girls) and getting him ice cream and cake. He got to dress-up in new clothes his Dad sent for him and got a fancy haircut. He was over-the-moon, couldn’t sleep, bouncing off the walls happy. He KNEW it was his day- hell his weekend- and he enjoyed it for all it’s worth!
What Could Be…
For me, though, birthdays are harder. Don’t get me wrong; I was so happy he was happy and that he’s finally recognizing these special days, but I still struggle. I can’t help thinking, he’s 13, a teenager, but technically that is so not where he’s at. He should have started high school this year. He should be talking back and getting grounded. He should be slamming his bedroom door and telling me to stay out of his business. He should be begging me for a new phone so he could snap chat with girls he would have crushes on – not that he would ever admit that to me. He should…God, I can continue on and on with this.
A Little Hypocritical I Know…
I tell parents all the time not to compare their kiddos with others. I tell them not to think about the physical age and where their child should be at. But instead, I advise them to think about where he or she is and focus on where you want to go. “Take baby steps and celebrate each accomplishment,” is something I must have told at least 50 parents over the years. So yes, I feel like a complete hypocrite right now writing this, hell, feeling like this. On such a milestone of a birthday for Teo though, I can’t avoid it.
So yeah, it’s been a bittersweet week to say the least. I really wish I could write a more uplifting blog this week and set a good example for some of you special needs moms and dads out there. But yeah, instead I’ve been wallowing and struggling a bit.
Focusing on what is…
The good news is, the week is done. Mateo had probably the best birthday he’s had since he was 2 and his Madriñha (godmother in Portuguese) planned his birthday at a gym/trampoline place. Moreover, now that I’ve wallowed and whined, I can move forward next week to focus not on what Mateo SHOULD be doing but instead what he IS doing and how we can keep moving forward.
Everyone needs a little help sometimes…
And for those of you special needs parents out there who struggle time to time like I do, we are having a special Parent Training next week Wednesday, September 30, at 6:00PM to kick off Mental Health Month. The training is: Special Needs Parents & Depression: What It Looks Like & How to Cope. Please go register in advance!
