I know with COVID-19 we’ve all been worried about what the future will look like. If this is our new normal? Many of us are having serious financial concerns. Everyone, I honestly believe, has been affected in many ways. Autism Belize was happy to help Mind Health Connect promote their #thereisnohealthwithoutmentalhealth campaign last week. One of our very first guest speakers in our Autism Belize Speaker Series spoke on Stress Management. But even with all this, when I read about the mom who allegedly drowned her son who was severely autistic, I felt a kick so strong to my gut, l bent over in pain.
Stressful Times, especially for Special Needs Families…
I honestly haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. My heart breaks for the boy who barely got to live. My heart breaks for the family and the community. My heart also breaks for that mom. I don’t know why she did it. I don’t even think I can put myself in that place to try to figure it out.
This did make me stop and think about other families with children with special needs. All of a sudden they are not getting access to school, therapy, much needed outdoor activities. These parents have gotten no respite time (time away from their kids to relax even a little or for a little mental break). Life with a special needs child might mean never even getting a chance to sit down and watch a movie or show for fear of what the child might do. For so many, the change in routine and lack of support will mean meltdowns and long sleepless nights, regressions that can lead to aggressive behaviors. I know this. I’ve lived this.
Remembering My Own Difficult Times…
In 2017, with an early onset of puberty came a lot of self-injurious behaviors for my son. He started hitting his head and digging himself until he bled. We tried various behavior protocols. We tried medications. Still the behaviors escalated. It became so bad; he became so aggressive, I had to take him out of school. Our house was a constant battle zone. I had bruises and scratches and bite marks all over. It took some time but we finally realized that he had an adverse reaction to one of the medications and since we changed that, my happy, sweet Mateo came back to me. But there was a period of time where I would have to lock myself in the bathroom to be safe. Think about that. I had to lock MYSELF in a bathroom to be safe from my 10-year-old son. Not a pretty picture, right?
During COVID-19, many friends and family have called to check on me. And even with the intense stimming and up-all-night party sessions Mateo has been having, I have to tell people we are OK. Because we are. It honestly could have been a lot worse. What if I didn’t live so close to the sea that during lock-down Mateo would have been unable to swim? What if I didn’t have a big enough backyard to help him burn his excessive energy? What if his Shadow had decided NOT to move in and be in lockdown with us? (I am BEYOND grateful for her continued help during this time.) If it had been just Mateo and I locked in a little apartment with no access to water during a time when we were dealing with aggressions, I can just imagine how difficult a situation like that would have been.
Blessed…
I read that story about that mom and I kissed Mateo. I realized we really are blessed. Blessed to live in a country that followed the rules of lockdown so that we are now COVID-free. Blessed that even in lockdown, Mateo could go outside and enjoy his calming sea time. Blessed that I had family and friends to check on us and help us. I know not everyone has had it that good.
Reach Out, Please…
If you are a family who has really been struggling during COVID-19, please reach out and ask for help. If you don’t have close family and friends that can help you, send Autism Belize a message and we’ll see what we can do or find help for you. Maybe you just need some respite time or advice on how to handle new behaviors that have started since COVID-19. Whatever it is, please reach out. You don’t have to go through it alone. As Mind Health Connect told us: There Is No Health Without Mental Health. Take care of you so that you can take care of your loved ones.